


named, after

by throne_away



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:34:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22557958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/throne_away/pseuds/throne_away
Summary: After the hag, and the journey home, Beau and Caleb talk.Written and set post-c2e93.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 15
Kudos: 178





	named, after

All Beau wants, now that they’ve finally scraped their way back to Nicodranas, is to be left alone for a while.

The pounding in her brain started the second Nott first mentioned the fortune teller two days ago, and it didn’t exactly get better after that. She’ll be OK, she knows, she’ll get through this; she doesn’t know exactly how, or what things will look like on the other side, but she just needs space. Away from everyone else. From their eyes.

When Marion had told them there were four rooms available at the Lavish Chateau, Beau had grabbed one of the keys and walked off without saying a word. She’s sure Fjord would have said something polite, something to smooth over Beau’s rough edges. He was good at that. It would have been one of the things she’d missed, if she’d-

There’s a knock on the door, and Beau’s eyes snap open.

She’s clear-headed enough, at least, to be momentarily infuriated when she looks down at her body, legs crossed on her bed, and realises that she’s been meditating, and even worse she thinks it’s helped. She probably owed some people at the Cobalt Soul an apology, she thinks. At least a begrudging head nod. She doesn’t have it in her to say anything, but she lets out a mumble, tone rising enough at the end to sound questioning.

Through the door Beau can hear the person shift from one foot to the other, and before they can speak she knows it’s Caleb. She knows these people better than she’s ever known anyone else in the world. “It’s Caleb”, Caleb says, as though anyone else could do that accent. “Might I come in, Beauregard? Just for a moment of your time?”

Beau lies down; even in this state, she knows that if he sees that she’s been meditating he’ll say something about it, and she’ll get snappy, and they’ll both leave the conversation angry. They’d done that dance enough, in the early days of their friendship, and it’s just easier to avoid it. To not be worth making a hassle over.

When Caleb walks in he doesn’t look at her. Beau appreciates it - has always appreciated it, really. Too much time being noticed, growing up. He takes the seat at the desk by the window, turns it so he’s sort of facing her on the bed but also sort of facing the wall. He snaps his fingers and Frumpkin appears in his lap, back in his usual orange cat form. Beau briefly remembers that he was a raven, when they were in the forest, that Caleb must have switched him back, and realises that she’s not exactly sure how long she’s been in here.

Caleb coughs. She’ll have to work out what day it is later.

“We, uh. We are going to perform the spell to change Nott back quite soon. She asked if you would be there. It is important to her, I think. But if you cannot make it, I am sure she will understand.”

He finally turns to look at her; she meets his gaze quickly but it’s too much, too soon, and she looks down at her feet.

“I’ll be there,” she says, and she’s surprised at how raspy her voice is. “I gotta get out of this bed eventually, right?”

She could hear the shrug in his voice even if she didn’t see it out of the corner of her eye. “After my… incident, I was in the hospital for years and years. I do not think any of us would begrudge you several days, after what you have been through.”

“Is that what you all think of me, huh? That I’ve snapped? Gone crazy?” She means it as a joke, or at least mostly a joke, but it snaps out of her mouth harsher than she intended, and she _feels_ Caleb flinch at it. “I’m sorry, that’s not… fuck. I’m sorry.” There’s a longer pause before he speaks again. Great. Another thing she’s fucked up.

“It is fine, Beauregard. I only meant that… we have all had our moments, _ja_?”

She looks up, finally meeting his eyes. He looks tired; Beau supposes it was a long few days for all of them, not just herself. Caleb hadn’t had a chance to go in and speak to the hag, not before Jester had come strolling out and casually whispering that they should run, _ack_ tually, and Beau wonders if that would have been better or worse. They sit there quietly for a moment before it’s too much for Beau. “Is that all?”

“Ah,” Caleb says, and Beau’s heard that before. It means “no”. Or, more specifically, it means “no, but I’m not quite ready for the next part, so I’m gonna drag this whole nightmare conversation out for three times as long as it has to be.” Once upon a time this was annoying, but right now Beau finds it just a little comforting, an island of predictability in the sea of the last few days.

“Do you remember the day I told you about my past, Beauregard? In Zadash?” Beau nods. Of course she remembers it. She’d basically blackmailed it out of him, had assumed it was going to be something sordid. Hiding from the law and the Myriad after a big score gone wrong, maybe; she’d met a few people like that in her time, and Caleb had a similar energy, always looking over his shoulder, never offering any more than the exact answer to the questions you’d asked. She hadn’t expected, well, _that_. “Before I told you, I asked Nott if she’d be willing to leave with me that night, yes? For a very long time, Beauregard, I was ready to leave this group at a moment’s notice. We would have packed our things in the night and simply disappeared. For my safety, or mine and Nott’s.”

 _Ah_ , Beau thinks. _That’s_ where this is headed.

“And then things changed, _ja_? Our lives… tangled. Nott grew fond of you all. Even Fjord, although she will never admit it. And running no longer seemed like an option for us until suddenly we were in Rexxentrum, and I found myself ready to run once more. And I realised it was not for my safety, it was for yours. So none of you would get tangled up into my problems, as I had yours. But we had to save our friend, and the world, and then by the time I could think of running again it was too late.”

Frumpkin jumps off Caleb’s lap, and up onto Beau’s bed. She sits up a little, lets the cat come to rest on her, scratches him under the chin where she knows he likes it. “Caleb, I-“

“Please let me finish, Beauregard. We are tangled together, now, the Mighty Nein. You are Fjord’s first mate and Jester’s best friend. You told Nott a secret-“ and Beau’s head shoots up as Caleb holds out his hands, defensively, “-and she would not tell me what, and you know how special that is. Yasha and Caduceus both care for you deeply. And you should know that we would be worse without you, curse or no.”

“What about you?” Caleb looks confused, so Beau continues. “I’m Fjord’s thingy and Jester’s whatever, what am I to you?”

“Oh. I do not have much family any more, Beauregard, but to me you are _meine Schwester_. My sister. I apologise. I thought you knew.”

And Beau’s not exactly sure when she started crying, but she can feel the tears on her cheeks; Frumpkin climbs down her chest as she tries to turn away but suddenly Caleb is _there_ , sitting next to her on the bed, one arm around her - a little stiff, but she leans into him anyway. It reminds her just a little of the last time they hugged, in the swamp in Labenda, months ago.

She’s not sure how long they sit there, Caleb awkwardly patting her back, before she feels Caleb eventually pull back. “I wanted to offer you something. You do not have to take it. I do not know if you will want it, but it is yours if you do.”

Beau looks around, but there’s nothing there; Caleb has nothing in his hands, and there’s nothing sitting on the bed. “Is it a pony? Did you get me an invisible pony? You shouldn’t have, Caleb. We’ll never remember where we left it.”

Caleb rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “ _Nein_ , Beauregard. Although if you want an invisible pony we could perhaps arrange that, at least for up to an hour.” He shifts on the bed a little. “You know that before I was Caleb Widogast I was Bren Ermendrud, _ja_?”

“And several other names in between, I’m pretty sure you said. Were you ever an Eric? You look kind of like an Eric.”

“ _Nein_ , never an Eric. In one town Nott chose a name for me before I could say anything and I was called _Tony_ , if you can believe it.” Beau grins. “ _Please_ do not tell Jester, Beauregard, she will call me that for a week. Anyway, that is beside the point. Bren Ermendrud did terrible things, this you know. Caleb Widogast is… well, he is not perfect, but he is getting better. And you know and I know that they are the same person, but the separation… sometimes helps. In the worst of times.”

“Wait, wait. Are you saying-”

“It clearly brings you pain to be Beauregard Lionett. You did not tell us your family’s name for many months, after even Fjord stopped using his ridiculous fake accent. So if you do not want to be the daughter of Thoreau Lionett, and having met the man I could not fault you-“

“-I could just change my name. Shit. _Shit_.” _Shit_ , one more time in her head for good measure. “I’d still be-“

“-his child, yes, of course. Even our friend the hag could not change that for you, I think. But, as I said. The separation sometimes helps. Anyway, maybe you do not want that; there is power too in reclaiming a name used by the wicked. I just thought it was worth suggesting in case you had not thought of it yourself.”

Beau leaned into Caleb, bumping her shoulder against his. “I hadn’t. Thanks, man. I don’t… maybe. Have to think about it. But thanks.”

Caleb pushed himself back towards her, returning the bump, and stood up, walking to the door. “You are welcome, Beauregard. We will be performing Nott’s ritual at sundown, which is exactly… seventeen minutes from now.”

Beau nodded. “I’ll be there.” As Caleb opened the door, something ticked over in her brain. “Wait, Caleb? You said you wanted to give me something?”

He paused at the door, then turned around, standing in the doorway. It was hard to tell, but Beau thought she could see the hint of a blush in Caleb’s cheeks. “Ah. Yes. Only that… well, you would need a new name, instead of Lionett. If if was acceptable to you, I just wanted you to know that, as you are my sister, I would be honoured to have you as a Widogast.” He stayed just long enough to see Beau’s jaw drop before smiling, nodding, and pulling the door shut behind him.

Beau sat in silence for a few minutes, before slowly stretching out her neck, her shoulders, her back, and getting up from the bed. She needed to put on some new clothes, if she was going to go downstairs.

Beauregard Widogast, she considered.

It had a ring to it.


End file.
